www.keshialicious.blogdrive.com

one last post.
for jin wei?
no la. answering his request.

okay, so my last post won't be an emo one.
i don't know how many people will read it..
but yeah. to those who will still come back here just to see that i've left, hahahaha.
here's the last piece of me.

i've been blogging for the past 3 years.
still not a veteran if you ask me.
but i know my writing has improved!
or so i hope.

i just want to sayyy
I LOVE YOUUU!
to all who love me.
hee hee

don't know what to say la.
hm..

how bout those osar thank yous..
scared i'll leave out names.
purposely or not.
hm.

so ... here's a short one
a HUGE thank you to those who care
and to those who share with me,
and to those who leave comments
and to those who give hugs on my hug counter
and to those who read my blog oh so frequently..
(apparently, some ppl are attached to my blog..)
and to those who consider me as mommy
and to those who think i'm superhero (when i'm NOT)
and to those who call me JIE
and to those who annoy me in a nice way
and to those who call me up
and to those whom i call family.
(although i think it should be 'dibubarkan' already, haha)

hmm
cukop?

maybe one day i'll blog back here..
when i'm all the way in another country..
just to let you know how i'm doing.
so say your last goodbyes, ya'll.
i still come back to look at the comments.
HUGS*

tata~

"how often we mean almost nothing to the ones who mean the world to us"
i bet i speak for alot of people.
except myself, huh.

---

i saw him today
i saw him in his face
he looks so good now..
so... wow.
just tht... past that physique,
there's something...
*something*
my hero in white shirt and blue jeans, haha.
if i had a chance, i'd swear i'd tell you all over again.

---

i hate the state i'm in now.
argh
someone slap me!
heraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

---

i'm not made of metal...
i hurt too.

---

this is such an emo blog
i'm gonna shut it down soon.

cheers

guess what i ate today??

half a plate of chee cheong fun
gui ling gao.

yup
thats all...
and i'm still not hungry
i only eat because i have hyper acidity.
or else.. i wouldn't even eat at all~
mouth itchy.
but mouth also tired.

so to all of you whu want to bring me out go makan....
forget it.
i don't eat.
heheahaha

cheers ya'll..~

it's over!!!!
yeah... its all over..
i don't know if i'm happy or sad...
:) (:
:( ):

***********************************
the practices were CRAAaAaYYzeeE~
till the wee hours of the morning
we always gather at 8.30 pm, but only end up practicing at 10.00 pm
the VERY LAST PRAC started at 10.00 (as usual) and ended at 4.30 am.
everyone was frazzled, tired, emotionless, dizzy and cold...
but it was SO worth it.
***********************************

On the 21st of september 2005, the cast arrived at the ampitheatrette at 12.15pm. Everyone was huryying and bustling about fiddling with costumes and make up. Keshia and Lu Xanne were hurying as they put on their costume and make up... Ken was busy making sure the stage was ready and Tsun Jian was just... walking around ? Andy, Alwi and Raj arrived a tad bit later due to some complications..

The cast was frantically looking for their respected costumes... Alwi and Soung Ern felt like they just had to smoke. So did Raj- although he doesn't smoke. Keshia assured them that they need not smoke and hurried them to put on their costumes right away! everyone felt so silly in their oh-so-odd looking costumes.

Ken ming was the director of the play and played 2 small parts namely the bimbotic Senator and side-kick Lodovico. Andy looked extra funny because he had a unibrow and and a HUGE mole. That was Roderigo for you- all 'gay'-ed up and metrosexually inclined. Andy also played the jester, the musician, and the messenger. He's a genius~! Alwi played Sigñor Brabantio, and Bianca (yes, a woman!). Bianca was spactacularly played, sending giggles up everyone's face. Soung Ern played Sir Cassio- portrayed as innocent, naive, and has no brains..... for drinking (hehe). He is accused of having a secret love affair with lady Desdemona. The beautiful Desdemona was played by Lu Xanne. With such little time of practice, she graced the character with such true innocence and helplesness. Iago was brilliantly portrayed by Raj as he had never looked so evil before! His countless tries of practicing his multiple sorts of laugh paid off when he didn't use any of the ones that he practiced (haha). He's a genius too! Keshia played two really small parts- namely the Duke and Emilia. The Duke did not say much and all Emilia did was follow Desdemona around always assuring her that she has done no wrong. Emilia was also the unloved wife of Iago- who kills her in the end (-_-). The main actor, Mr Saw Tsun Jian was crazy good with his seriously funny expressions and seriously real angry/psychotic/evil/weird/lovey-dovey faces. He did wonderfully and almost never missed a line! Such geniuses!

Although some scenes were cut off, and some really good lines were missed, only the cast knew what was going on. The play went smoothly with only 2 or 3 hiccups when the stage was bare for more than 2 minutes. The music was brilliant!! (played by Keshia, of course *ahem!*) the music added such emotion with the minor keys ringing in the air to add to the dramatic edge to the already dramatic play.

A snippet of the few *brilliant lines*

" Othello will love me. He will worship me. He will be wrapped around my finger, and I will be his master. He will be so jealous, he'll die in shades of green!..." - Iago.
--- written by Keshia (^^)

"... oh my love how i have wronged thee. And there is nothing but this- to kill myself, and to die upon a kiss..." - Othello
--- written by Ken Ming

"... I was black, I was a lonely man... she was fat. at the chest, then..."-Othello
--- written by Tsun Jian (figues, huh)

***********************************

i miss those practice times :(
but i don't miss all that cigarette smoke.
oh but the shee shar smell was pretty good.
VODKA and FRUITS
yumMmMmMm
hehehehahaha.
the new guy named Shiva brought it.
i did NOT take a puff....
i'm still innocent.
but it's SO NOT drugs k.
it's totally clean.
one day, one day..,
wheeee~
************************************

GENIUS SONG OF THE MOMENT: BEAUTIFUL- JAMES BLUNT.
SONG OF THE MONTH: ELEANOR- LOW MILLIONS
************************************

oh and i've been told today that my blog entries hurt alot of people.
i want to say sorry to those i've hurt.
i need a place to vent, and this is my only escape.
id on't intentionally want to hurt people.
it's all terribly biased to my opinions and point of view.
it's my blog, really.
and to harshly put it....
if you can't handle it... you shuold think before you act.
i'm not about to stop.
i can't be deprived of even venting.
i'm already snatched of almost everything else.
************************************

i'm messed up physically.
i hate eating
yes... Keshia hates eating.
it's such a chore.
bah.
************************************

cheers, ya'll ~
have a goodnight... or rather morning
it's 1.07 am?
whut am i gonna dooooo?????
*huggles*

woah
i neeeeeeed to get it out of me
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he's:
so hot
so chunted
so darn yeng
so super good lookin
so tall
so dark
so genius
so darn yeng
so so hot
so a dancer (woooaaahhhh)
so so chunted
and did i say SO darn yeng??

*swoons*
sizzle sizzle, i'm tellin youuuu
XD

it was never about me...
maybe its really one sided...

****

i'm growin into the person i kinda wanted to be.
now that i've seen that side,
it really is kinda fun...
gotta be careful.

****

something i wrote on 12th sept :

----1-----
you annoy me. how can someone be so much of a jerk? who are you to tell me what to do or think? you have barely any right. what do you treat me like? we're friends? yeah right. so go. do whatever you want. you won't care to inform me anyway. you just annoy the *bleep* out of me, you *bleep*
----2-----
you've let me down. i never knew you could do that- in fact, i never knew you would. i guess you caught me offguard. i still can't believe the side you took and the decision you subconciously made. here you are- i don't want to involve myself anymore. i really thought you'd be the one to be there... but when something goes your way, you just dump the rest out, huh.
----3-----
i'll never know what exactly happened. whatever it is, right now; i can't be bothered. as long as you don't cross my line i won't do anything that might hurt you. i'm pretty aware of my capability. just because i treat you this way doesn't mean t makes good ground theory. i hope you'll be aware... and be careful.
----4-----
you- thank God for you.


that was one week ago.. here is now.
what drastic changes i have discovered. * rolls eyes *
1) you still kinda annoy me. the un human-ness of you. but yet you claim to be all knowing.
2) you gross me out even more now. i still can't believe you. pffbt*
3) i'm still as unbothered. but i'm not as hostile.
4) you- are weird. come back to me when you're sane and when you decide that i exist.

*bleep*- nothing too vulgar. just not suitable for kids under 8.

****

note to sefl
raj is darn yeng mannnn...
garwsh.
so so so so so so yeng.
wheeee~
ah, and he's my husband too.
wheeee~ summore.

****

i.... uh.... love you?
yeah right.
don't lie

****

don't wanna be like, every other girl who's trying to get you
i wanna come first!

****

*************************
why, why do we think?
it only makes us sink,
further than we know,
killing our heart's soft glow.

make time to reminisce,
not just the point and jist,
what will become of us?
true love or just mere dust?

never expecting more,
for what's been done before,
the heart is all deceiving,
but the truth is never fleeting.

the thought forever there,
that forever knowing stare,
says more than just one million,
more than even billions.

phileo, agape, eros,
all that really surrounds us,
i promised i'd forget,
but look... these things.. they're wet.

i confuse the big 3 alot.
so i guess i should really stop,
looking and observing lots.
cos they all.. cause me to drop.

*************************

hope in God is so different compared with hope in man, huh.
man will always fail you... but God is ever there.

trust in God and WAIT FOR HIM.
waiting on God does not mean sitting around and literally wait.
it means to ENDURE, BE PATIENT AND TRUST.
something i think i'll remember for life.
but do you have any idea how HARD it is to do those??

its just so weird that sumhow i can't put my real feelings here without being interrogated
oh like, DOH. it's the world wide web. on a PUBLIC blog.
:P

sigh.
the things there are... or maybe the lack of it.
i have to be completely random..
or be totally mysterious.
agh
but they'll ask
he'll ask...

kinda tired of it
but yet.......
know how it is to hate oxygen, but then you NEED it?
something like that lar.

i ask for too much
more than i deserve, probably.

but i still hate the fact that
i'm affected
or that part of me will affect me more than i affect it.

silence.
silence.
do you want to play messiah?
and make it all happen again?
i suppose not.
i don't.

it still whispers in my ears...
everyday, almost.
i wonder if it'll ever stop.

"..don't worry, i have a big heart.."
it's a prop for a play.
made out of styrofoam.
light as a feather.
fragile like glass.
something i heard today.
i have that heart.
but now it looks terrible.
it ain't broken... it ain't lost.
it's got dents and holes and scars
scratches and dirt all over it.

reflect upon the happenings...
wtv happened in the past year.
for now, it'd be SPM last year.
whut happened?
alot.

burials.
whut does a burial mean?
to put away the past, but cherish the remaindings.
i buried the hatchet!
proud of it too.
whut i'm not proud of is..
i was stupid.
hmmmmmm.....

responsibility.
everyone has to take responsibility
for everyone's feelings.
its not fair
someone needs to take responsibility for mine.
:(

my nose is bleeding
my skin is flaking
my lips are cracking
my head is thumping

ulcers are surfacing all over my mouth
there's a heat rash on my right arm
my temperature is constantly on slight fever mode

i'm literally HOT

my *growth* is swallon.
whatever that means, eh ;)

i think..........
i.
need.
water.

someone thump me on the head and remind me to drink more.
bleargh!!!